(Setting: the breakfast table at my house as we’re polishing off the beautiful French toast my moms-in-law made for us. Having finished hers, the wife takes out her current knitting project–a fancy scarf knitted on the bias–to start a new row.)
THE WIFE– (to her mom) I think I figured out why I keep getting extra stitches in this…
ME– (interrupting) Have you been snitching?
THE WIFE– What?
ME– Have you been snitching? (beat) Cause snitches get stitches?
(Long pause)
THE WIFE– You are a dork.