ACTUAL CONVERSATIONS HEARD DURING AWANA #48

(Setting, my church’s AWANA night, during snack time. Kids have been given Rice Crispy Treats. One kid I find sitting at the table, holding his leg up with his knee practically in his face, seemingly on the verge of tears, his Crispy Treat clutched in his hand.)

ME– What’s the matter?

KID– My legghuuurscauuuusAyeescraaaaapeitonnaflorinnajiiiiiim.

ME– You what?

KID– Myyy leg hurrrts where I scraaaped it on the floor in the gyyym.

ME– (Not wanting to give the injury any energy, hoping to head off a crying jag…) Oh, I’m sorry that happened. (BEAT) You should rub your Rice Crispy Treat on it to make it feel better.

(The momentum of the impending crying jag comes to a screeching halt and the kid looks hard at his Rice Crispy Treat. Then, as instructed, he rubs it on his knee, gives it a second, then seems satisfied by the healing properties of the puffed rice, butter, marshmallow and preservatives. All crying forgotten, he begins eating his knee-and-gym-floor-contaminated treat. I too am satisfied, but cast a nervous glance around the room to see if my act of unhygienic rice-based medicinal suggestion was witnessed by any of my germ-warry superiors. Sure enough, Martha and Joe, veteran class leaders, saw the whole thing. Martha is shaking her head, but smiling behind her hands while Joe is openly suppressing laughter. I count this as a triple win.)

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