SETTING: My house as my wife arrives home from work carrying a large pink basket full of home-canned goodies given to her by one of her patients. I knew this already, though, because I already asked about it in the garage. My mother-in-law, in the kitchen, and father-in-law, across the room, are there to witness her arrival with the basket.
MA– What’s that?
ME– A Crimmas present she got from her bo’friend.
MA– What?
THE WIFE– It’s from my bo’friend. I can have a boyfriend if I want to.
MA– No you can’t.
THE WIFE– I can too. Can’t I, Pa?
PA– Huh?
THE WIFE– I can have a boyfriend if I want, right?
PA– (Shakes head) Noooooooo.
ME– (Pumping my fist and offering Pa an across-the-room Air 5) Ha! Bros before ‘ho’s!
THE WIFE– (Laughing) “Bros before ‘ho’s”? You are the biggest dork!