ACTUAL NEW YEARS EVE CONVERSATIONS HEARD AT OUR HOUSE #23

SETTING: Our house, New Years Eve, `bout 11:30p, as the wife continues to quarantine from COVID upstairs while I have full control of the TV downstairs. She steps out on the landing to see what I’m up to.

THE WIFE– Are you still watching John Wick?

ME– Yes. John Wick 4.

THE WIFE– I thought you already saw that one?

ME– No. That was John Wick 3, last night. This is John Wick 4. And it’s nearly a three hour movie, so it’s not a quick watch.

THE WIFE– Oh.

ME– It has lots of shootin’. And stabbin’. And nunchuckin’.

THE WIFE– Par for the course in a John Wick film, I understand?

ME– Yes.

THE WIFE– Any ninjy whompin’ action?

ME– Yes. Lots of ninjy whompin’ action. And judy chops.

THE WIFE– Well I’m watching a riveting video about diabetes management.

ME– Does it have ninjy whompin’ action?

THE WIFE– None whatsoever. But I think it would be greatly improved with some.

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